REPORT – RAHM TELLS G8 LEADERS CHICAGO's CHINATOWN SHOULD BE CONVERTED TO GIANT “FOXCONN-WEST” FACTORY COMPLEX
In a secret meeting with the world’s top industrial leaders, G8 host Mayor Rahm Emanuel proposed converting Chicago’s Chinatown into a huge tech-manufacturing center, modeled after China's notorious Foxconn Plant in the city of Chengdu. One leading industrialist present at the meeting, who went by the name Mr. X, described Mayor Emanuel’s sales presentation.
“Most of us in the room were stunned, given what the world knows about Foxconn,” said Mr. X. “Rahm started out by saying he admired the ‘ruthless efficiency’ of the Foxconn operation. He said he loved the late Apple founder Steve Jobs, whose Apple products are produced at Foxconn. Rahm declared that the best way to build on Steve’s legacy was to put as many people to work for the lowest wage possible".
“Rahm said he has learned so much watching China’s government oppress their own people, that he could use many of their tactics to oppress Chinese-Americans right here in Chicago,” said Mr. X. “Rahm said redrawing Chicago’s aldermanic map so that 5 different Alderman now represent Chinatown was no accident. “I did that to confuse the hell out of everyone”, Mr. X quoted Rahm. ‘Now that the remap is complete, we can use eminent domain to bulldoze some buildings and throw up some factories.’
Mr. X told of Rahm's reaction when one attendee pointed out Foxconn's history of workers jumping from it's buildings. “I’m well aware”, said Rahm. “You apparently are unaware that Foxconn solved that problem with strategically placed netting. And I can assure you we have netting in Chicago.”
Mr. X described Rahm giving some of the world leaders a Chicago history lesson. “The fact is we were Foxconn before Foxconn - Except we called it Pullman. Mr. Pullman mass-produced railroad cars. In the late 1800s, a large portion of our South side was known as Pullman. Workers were provided housing, medical care, and schools for their children. In return, the workers put in 12 hour days, 6 to seven day workweeks, and lived under lockdown conditions in case the boss needed more from them. So you could say Chengdu stole our idea. All I’m proposing is that we embrace our heritage, not run away from it. We should be proud of it.”
Mr. X told of attendees who thought Rahm's scheme as too ambitious. “You can’t pull that off,” said one naysayer. Rahm countered, ”Wrong. I learned long ago that when people say they want leadership, what they are actually saying is that they want to be bullied. That’s what I do. Go ask any of Chicago’s Alderman, Librarians, Teachers, Sanitation workers, and Traffic aides. Hell, I even bullied a high ranking Nun since becoming Mayor. The attendees eventually relented, and pledged to support Emanuel’s Foxconn West. “At the meetings conclusion, Rahm began to cry”, Mr. X said. “He sobbed, ‘I wish Steve had lived to see this day".